Editing “September”

In the first September post I wrote the original poem from when the Three Random Words project first started. I’ve included it again below but also my updated version to show how I edit when I come back to a poem after a few years.

Original Version

A moment for the city to be new,
we only had a few weeks
before each today was yesterday.
We took the train far away
where doors opened on bright evenings
and we held onto each other’s past.
We had adventures.
went into the smooth urban sprawl,
to stare at things that we all pretend
to understand
And create our own.

Updated Version

A flash for the city to be new,
we only had a few weeks
before each today was yesterday.
We took the train far away,
where doors opened on bright evenings
and we held onto each other’s past.
We had adventures.
Travelled into the smooth urban sprawl,
to stare at things that we all pretend
to understand. And create our own.

The two poems are very similar except I have tweaked a word or two and a few line breaks. This poem had quite a strong sense of memory for me and so I didn’t want to do much to it, just strengthen what I had already done.

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