This actually snuck up on me – I have been a bit out of the loop of things recently. I’ve been on holiday, I’ve been looking after my Mum who’s had an operation and I’ve been doing a lot of reassessing of things. So I had completely forgotten that World Mental Health Day was coming up.
It’s a touch ironic because the main thing I have been working on this month is sorting out my own mental health.
I have now been in therapy of one form or another for my AvPD and depression for five years. I have seen five different doctors and next week I am going to see my psychiatrist about going onto meds for the first time.
The reason I waited so long was to make sure I knew what was going on inside my head, all of the environmental factors before I tackled the chemical ones. This absolutely is not the way it works for everyone but it was important to me. The secondary reason was that I have always been afraid that taking meds would affect my ability to write.
Writing has been the thing that has gotten me through a lot of the really bad times. It’s also the only thing I both want to do and have ever been any good at. For a long time I was scared about getting better because when my depression and anxiety forced me to quit my day job I turned to writing to fill my days. I was scared that if I got better I would have to go back to the day job I hated. I don’t and I know that I am very privileged because of that but it was a big turning point for me getting better.
I have had a massive turn around in the past few weeks. I call it ‘seeing the wood for the trees’. I’m starting to see the things that are good, I can focus on the details of my illness and find the line between what can and cannot be dealt with. This is a huge turning point for me because it means I know where to focus and what to work on next.
So. Big changes for me in the next few months. And I’m going to be talking about them a bit on here. There is also a big new idea, not quite a project yet, an idea that should be something very special that I’ll be talking about soon.
Today, check out the #WorldMentalHealthDay tags to see a full range of resources and loads of people sharing their stories.
Everyone, take care of yourself, take care of the people you love, keep your eyes and minds open and remember that we never know what’s going on inside someone else’s head.